Ask Agenna

Real questions. Honest answers. Practical tools for your healing journey.
Have a question about trauma, healing, or transformation? You’re not alone. Here, I answer the questions my clients ask most—and the ones you might be too afraid to ask out loud. Each post is designed to give you insight, clarity, and actionable steps forward.
Grounding Techniques for Holiday Triggers | Christmas Survival for Trauma Survivors
Part 3 of the Christmas Survival Series for Trauma Survivors You shouldn't have to white-knuckle your way through Christmas dinner. And with the right tools? You won't. Perhaps you've already decided to go. Maybe you have to go—for your kids, for a family member who...
If You’re Going: Your Complete Christmas Safety Plan
Part 2 of the Christmas Survival Series for Trauma Survivors So you've decided to go. Maybe you weighed the options, and attendance feels like the right choice this year. Maybe the cost of not going feels higher than the cost of going. Maybe you're not ready to skip...
You Don’t Have to Go: Permission to Protect Your Peace This Christmas
Somewhere along the way, you were taught that the holidays mean you owe people things. Access. Affection. Performance. Forgiveness.
Let me be very clear about what you don’t owe anyone—including family, including your abuser, including anyone who makes you feel guilty for protecting yourself.
Secondary Trauma: When Their Pain Becomes Yours
Understanding vicarious trauma in caregivers You wake up in a panic, heart racing, drenched in sweat. But nothing happened to YOU. Your child is the one in crisis. You're just the one watching. So why does your body feel like YOU'RE the one under attack? Because you...
Joy Is Not Betrayal: Permission to Live While They Struggle
Your suffering does NOT reduce theirs.
Your misery does NOT ease their burden.
Your joylessness does NOT heal their brain.
Your constant worry does NOT keep them safer.
If You’re Going: Your Thanksgiving Safety Plan Boundary Guide
You’ve decided to go to Thanksgiving despite your abuser being there. Here’s your complete safety plan: assessment questions, boundary scripts, grounding toolkit, and permission to leave anytime.
You Don’t Have to Go: Permission to Skip Thanksgiving When Your Abuser Will Be There
You don’t have to go home for Thanksgiving if your abuser will be there. This isn’t about being dramatic—it’s about being wise. Permission, validation, and practical guidance for making this decision.
How I Integrate Trauma-Informed Principles Into My Coaching Practice
When I first began my journey as a trauma-informed coach, I knew that understanding trauma wasn't enough. I needed to create a space where healing could actually happen—where survivors could feel safe enough to do the deep work without having to relive their pain or...
The Stories Bodies Tell That We Never Ask About
This is Part 6 of the "Weight of Words" series. Read Part 1 | Part 2: The Whisper Test | Part 3: The Compliment That Cuts | Part 4: Size Gaslighting | Part 5: The Invisible Uniform I need to tell you something that might make you uncomfortable: You don't know...
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Brooklyn Simmons
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