Ask Agenna
Real questions. Honest answers.
Practical tools for your healing journey.
Have a question about trauma, healing, mindset, or moving forward? You’re not alone. These posts are designed to give you insight, clarity, and something you can actually use — whether you’re healing privately, supporting someone who is, or just trying to get unstuck.
Have a question you’d like me to address? Send it here →
Secondary Trauma: When Their Pain Becomes Yours
Understanding vicarious trauma in caregivers You wake up in a panic, heart racing, drenched in sweat. But nothing happened to YOU. Your child is the one in crisis. You're just the one watching. So why does your body feel like YOU'RE the one under attack? Because you...
Joy Is Not Betrayal: Permission to Live While They Struggle
Your suffering does NOT reduce theirs.
Your misery does NOT ease their burden.
Your joylessness does NOT heal their brain.
Your constant worry does NOT keep them safer.
If You’re Going: Your Thanksgiving Safety Plan Boundary Guide
You’ve decided to go to Thanksgiving despite your abuser being there. Here’s your complete safety plan: assessment questions, boundary scripts, grounding toolkit, and permission to leave anytime.
You Don’t Have to Go: Permission to Skip Thanksgiving When Your Abuser Will Be There
You don’t have to go home for Thanksgiving if your abuser will be there. This isn’t about being dramatic—it’s about being wise. Permission, validation, and practical guidance for making this decision.
How I Integrate Trauma-Informed Principles Into My Coaching Practice
When I first began my journey as a trauma-informed coach, I knew that understanding trauma wasn't enough. I needed to create a space where healing could actually happen—where survivors could feel safe enough to do the deep work without having to relive their pain or...
The Stories Bodies Tell That We Never Ask About
This is Part 6 of the "Weight of Words" series. Read Part 1 | Part 2: The Whisper Test | Part 3: The Compliment That Cuts | Part 4: Size Gaslighting | Part 5: The Invisible Uniform I need to tell you something that might make you uncomfortable: You don't know...
The Invisible Uniform: When Your Workplace Literally Doesn’t Fit You
Imagine working somewhere you’re supposed to represent the brand—but nothing fits you. Workplace size exclusion is systemic discrimination, not business.
“Size Gaslighting: When Others Police Your Own Body Knowledge”
This is Part 4 of the "Weight of Words" series. Read Part 1 | Part 2: The Whisper Test | Part 3: The Compliment That Cuts I'm an XL or 1X, depending on the brand and cut. This isn't speculation. I know this because I live in this body. Dressing it every single day...
The Compliment That Cuts: When ‘You Look Great’ Actually Means ‘You’re Finally Acceptable’
“You look amazing! Lost weight?” seems kind but may celebrate someone’s crisis. Exploring why weight loss compliments hurt and what to say instead.